My shoots are actually quite elaborate. It takes me weeks to organize them. I bring props, I set the light. It's a lengthy process. But I'm not here to talk about my work (which is no longer my work by the way. Now I spend more time in front of the camera). I'm here to talk about my life-changing transformation.
It all happened when I asked a model agency to send someone for a few pictures for a little gay magazine. I was left free to do whatever I wanted. I have no idea why, but I decided to set up a little altar with flowers and give to the whole thing a sort of blasphemous feel. A bit cliché perhaps, but it turned out to be the perfect setting.
The door rang and this semi-god walks in. 'I'm Felipe,' and he stretched his hand. A beginner, I thought, with none of the exaggerated swagger of models. Good.
Within five minutes we were shooting. Felipe was on his knees in front of this makeshift altar. I asked to take off his shirt.
I kept on shooting, from every corner I could. I asked him to remove his pants, to lay on the bed, to show me his genitals, to touch himself, to feign orgasm. His body - between that of a boy and of a runner - was a never-ending source of visual pleasure. I put a flower on his mouth and kept on giving him orders. He did everything I said.
Then we returned to the little altar. He didn't know what to do.
And it is at the moment that I ordered him. 'Lick the crucifix.'
'What?''It's just a piece of plastic. C'mon. Don't pretend you believe in these things.'
Felipe hesitated. 'C'mon', I insisted, 'I don't have much time.'
Felipe took the crucifix in his hand and looked at the diminutive Christ.
'Are you afraid of curses? Of hell?' Felipe got tense. I drew nearer to him, menacingly.
He parted his pulpy lips. I could see his piercing on his tongue, but his hands were shaking a little. He brought the crucifix closer to his chin. And then he started licking it. At the beginning slowly, but soon he increased the pace. After a few seconds he was passing his tongue over the arms of the cross, as if it were a lollipop. I moved right in front of him, unzipped my jeans: his lips were on my dick. He kissed it, licked it and sucked it, making my penis larger and larger.
After a minute he raised his head. I did not look happy.
'It was not good?' he asked.
'You know you've done something very bad? Something sacrilegious, I'd say.'
'What have I done?'
'You licked the body of God. You fucking atheist.'
'No! I'm not. I believe in God.'
'This is even worse! You made angels weep. You're surely going to hell, you fucking idiot.'
'What? Why are you saying that? You told me to lick the crucifix!
'And you do everything I say! Whom am I? What's in your brain, you petty bastard? You violated the body of Christ. Do you know what that means? What were you thinking?'
Felipe started spitting and coughing.
'Oh fuck me. I did. Yet, I did.'
He was shaking. And sobbing. 'Oh stupid me. Ungrateful me. God, will you forgive me?'
'You're doomed, Felipe.' I squatted. My face was three inches from his. I could see his tears as large as pearls. 'God will get his revenge.'
I whispered those words very slowly to make the menace more palpable.
And it is at that point, when he was most vulnerable, that I turned into him and he into me. His chin was quickly covered in hair and his lips grew thinner. I felt my shoulder blades expanding, as if I were about to grow wings, and my tongue got pierced as if hit by an invisible nail.
It was painful, but the pain was mixed at an incredible pleasure, as if I were remade out of clay.
Felipe looked horrified. He looked at his larger hands, at his flabbier stomach.
'It's God's revenge,' I said. He almost fainted. Within five minutes he was gone.
Some people are just stupid. They don't deserve what they have.
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